It has been a long time since I last posted on this blog. Life has taken an unfortunate turn for myself and my family. Multiple things have happened and I found myself unable to post due to the need to respect the privacy of several loved ones. I won’t go into major detail. However, I have decided to touch upon what has happened in order to let people know what is going on.
The first issue is one linked to the health of my husband. Last year, he noticed some major issues and has been on leave ever since in order to find out what is going on. Based on what we’ve already observed in between lengthy breaks between doctor and specialist visits, it appears to be something that may result in him eventually giving up a position that he worked towards for years. If this does eventuate, I will likely become a carer.
We’ve made some arrangements for the future, buying a house that will suit our needs. If there is a ticking clock, there are some things that he wants to do, a bucket list, if you will. If it turns out that he’ll be able to return to work, we’ll probably end up renting it out. Either way, we have some savings to help out and have the support of a work union in the event that his employer does anything untoward (unlikely to be needed, thankfully, as his employer is actually quite understanding of his current situation).
About a week after hubby went on leave, my stepdad had what was believed to be a mini-stroke. In and out of rehabilitation for months, he and my my mother hoped that the doctors could learn what was causing the problem. The last time that I saw him, he was thin and pale, barely able to walk. My mother had her own medical issues to contend with as well.
Months passed and my mother was updating me on the situation from what little the medical specialists could piece together. The last update was two months ago, wherein my mother told me that they believed it to be the build-up of a certain protein in the brain with a likely outcome of only two more years together. The following weekend, they celebrated his sixty-ninth birthday in the hospital. Two days later, he’d passed on after another seizure.
Antero was in his early teens when his Finnish parents moved to Australia. He was a friend of the family for years. Eventually, he married my mother when I was in ninth grade and the two goofballs made each other happy. They loved the crap out of each other, able to playfully tease each other and joke around.
Antero was my second dad. He was an adorable weirdo that always kept to his principles. People around him always knew where they stood with him because he was honest. He was somebody that I highly respected and miss greatly for years to come.
Throughout everything that has happened, I have found myself dealing with my own inability to deal with stress and adapt. I found myself constantly anxious, repeatedly crying and often paralyzed. It sucks not being able to help loved ones because you aren’t able to get your head together. And whilst I am not a medical professional, I highly suspect that some of my mental state resembles that of a person suffering from depressive disorder.
What are my plans moving into the future? The fact is that there are still many questions to be answered. Until they are answered, we are in a holding pattern. Either way, I will continue to read, write whilst trying my best to be there for my family. I will try to stay realistically positive. This also means that I will be sure to spend as little time on social networking platforms as possible given how much negativity and partisanship there is on them. I’ve got better things to do with my life than deal with bullsh*t meant only to feed the ego or reinforce existing beliefs.
Hubby and I have also recently moved back to playing Final Fantasy XIV after a long hiatus. Gaming is one of the few little joys that we have. It is cheap as well, thankfully, and a heck of a lot more positive given the storytelling focus on the game. I can also goof around with emotes in a major town and break out in laughter which has been so lacking in the past year.
Keiko Online 